crackle nailpollish

it pisses mee off. heres why:
1. its expensive.
2. half of the colors dont even work, expecially the white.
3. it smells 30x worse than normal nail polish.
4. the colors are limmeted.
5. EVERYONE has it.
6. it chipps off easily.
7. it doesent leave a nice, shiny coat half the time.
8. it looks like shit on top of normal metalic nail pollish.
9. if yew put it on other things, such as radios, IT DOESNT CRACKLE!!!  >.<
yeah so basically i dont like the new crackle nail pollish... it looks kewl, ill admit, but other than that its just crap :T

HAPPEH BIRTHING-DAY AUTUMNN!!!!!!

yesterday was the birthing day of one of the most ahmazing people i have ever known to exist. her name is Autumn and im luckiee enuf to call her my best friend c:   she didnt havva party tho :T and it was for the silliest reason ive ever heard!! *cough* AUTUMN YEW ARE AHMAZING AND YES YEW DID DESERVE TO HAVVA PARTY!! *cough* oh well.. i got her a gift that seemed to make her happeh soo mission accomplished!! :D i love her so much and i hope her bday kicked some monkey boo-taay!! XD


also! my second mom Mary met her soal mate c: im sooo exited and happeh for her i just had to post it :p

uhhm.. well that worked?

my last problem sort of resolved itself:
great relationship ended. he broke upp with mee. less than one week later, hes dating someone else. great. oh well. single is working out juuust fine for mee at the moment. great guy and i arent gonna get together fora  while- if ever. this is the way i prefer it; i usually like to be single for a little bit in between relationships. this experience hasnt been pleasant, but i made it through and i guess it just goes to show that time is almost always the answer. c:

well.. fuck!

SO! great relationship.. but then theres this great guy. the great guy kissed mee. because i dont like to have secrets within a relationship, i told him. i didnt expect him to be otai with it, but i thaught he would be happeh that at least i was honest about it.
wrong.
so now relationship is filled with doubt, and great guy is still suicidal. i cant keep them both, so which one has to go? i only see 2 ways to do this, and i dont like either of them:
A:  drop great guy and keep great relationship, even though great guy might not live through it- literally...
B:  drop great relationship even though it would hurt a lot, and be with great guy and fix things on that end.
whaat the fuck an i supposed to do??? and dont yew dare tell mee to do what makes mee happeh, cuz thats all ive been getting and obviously its not helping mee at all. so comment on this and lemme know whaat yew think.

advice

everyone randomly opened upp to mee today.. they told mee about myself. i got into a lot of deep conversations about how i could improve- be a better person. being able to sit down and talk about yewr flaws with someone actually releaves a lot of stress. i feel happeh and confident that i can do this c:  sooo yeah i just wanted to say that that reallie ment a lot to mee; thanxx guys c:

yes, im aware. thank you.

yeah so i know that i messed upp and said some reallie stupid shit. yeah i know that yew guys havva rite to be mad. YES i know that its my fault and that i did it. trust mee, i KNOW.

but whaat i want yew guys to know is that im sorry. and i didnt mean it. but no one is perfect.. we all fuck upp. once the lie came out, i just didnt know how to fix it- so i didnt even try. im reallie sorry that i made everything get this bad. im sorry that i started all the drama, and made yew guys decide to block mee out of yewr lives outside of school.
         its hurting mee a lot more than it hurt yew.
the fact that i lied and hurt my friends.. and the fact that i lost them because of it.. is something that i honestly wish i could take back. but i know that i cant. i just wish i hadnt fucked upp in thr first place.

now im gonna miss both of yewr birthday parties.. i havnt missed one in 3 years. it makes mee wanna punch myself in the face.

im not asking yew to forgive mee, cuz i wouldnt forgive myself. and im not trying to make yew feel bad- im just venting.

i know i fucked everything upp. but yewr my best friends. yew still mean the world to mee. im sorry i lied.. it just came out. it was a mistake, and i knew that even as i was saying it.. i need better self control :T
  please try to understand.
thank you.

THE NEW BLOG!! :D

otaaii!! so i decided to sort of re-design this blog to make it more up-to-date with my personal life. it will still probably have the occasional poem, but for the most part it will just be like a journal or diary. i will express my opinions and viewpoints so please dont get mad at mee if yew dont agree. also, please dont hate on my new blogging idea. if i dont like it, ill change it back.